State of the Flooz
I haven't done a State of The Flooz report in a while what is up?
The Stress of Research
Lately I've been pretty stressed out from work. Sometimes research can be really really REALLY challenging, both mentally and physically. Mentally its hard to ask either the same question over and over in ten different ways, or to ask really really dumb questions. I think in some ways I'm not a good researcher cause I will never ask someone to blow their head off with a shot gun and then say to them.. "how did that feel?" Odds are it probably hurt, and I wrestle with that "odds are" all the time. I'm factoring odds as I go. When I talk to participants I'm noting everything, tone, body language, attention, focus, oh yeah and what they even say. Most of the time my "odds are" is dead on, and after awhile it gets angry that I have to keep asking dumb questions. This over time starts to create a pit in yer gut. You're paid not to trust yourself, you have to keep asking dumb questions to probe, to get the user to tell you their reason, not your reason. Even if its the same word, emotion, etc, you can't ever toss your reason on the scene, thats bad research. After awhile this pit grows and grows and grows to the point where you'll snap, if you don't snap, yer getting far too much sex probably. Yer guts not always right of course, sometimes it gets waaay skewed. Just this morning I took an email totally wrong, got into a mental fit about it, felt my heart race and then after rererading it a few times figured out, oh thats not what they said.
Phsically in research, ya get stress from sitting. Yer ass cant take the pressure. Yer back hurts. Yer unfit, locked in a room asking dumb questions. It starts to pile up. Ya go a little insane. Ya gotta get moving, go downstairs, walk around the building. For me I love extreme cold. Its 30 degrees out, put the jacket down and go for a brisk "holy frickin" walk. Its good for you. Get a workout going.
Travel is also pretty brutal on the researcher. You tend to lug around bits of equipment, tools, cameras, laptops, and of course yer always in a rush, even if you are a mad planner like I am.
Aniexty over your work, thats the final straw really. You worry. Even when they tell you, yer fine, you still worry. The worry ends when you accept your fate, ya do what ya can do and thats what ya did. Sometimes I feel a wave of relief when I accept the fate, whatever it may be. Sometimes it feels like that moment in a bad movie where welp, ya know that one character ya like, odds are they are gonna axe him, ahhh well. Damn theres that odds are again.
5 Weeks ahead.
I've read recently that it takes 5 weeks of doing something to obtain a habit. So I'm attempting to whip myself into shape one week at a time. Start slow, go fast.
This morning getting into the car I pondered my barriers to good health. What are they?
1. motivation
Motivation is a bitch. How do you stay motivated? Its really hard. I need Bob from the Biggest Loser to yell at me in the morning, I would love a trainer like him to believe in me. Thats what it really comes down to, ya gotta believe. I HAVE TO BELIEVE. Faith rolls in, ya gotta believe. I also tend to think that you need change to help motivation. Change it up, but dont stop.
2. understanding
When it comes to eating, I think I do pretty well really. In the past few weeks Mary and I have gotten all "oti" on our eating. Our cat is serious, serious about RAWWR! Oti, our car, I love her, shes great, but shes mean. I need a mean understanding of proper eats. Mostly when it comes to doing big workouts with diet. You have to eat enough to keep the furance going. We arent taught to understand food, I wish we were. I wish we were really informed on what its all about, you are one big walking chemistry set. The inventor in me keeps dreaming up solutions taking ideas from every fitness/wellness program ive ever seen. I want space food, I want the eat this ration 5 times a day plan. I always kinda laugh inside when folks tell me, you want sauce with that, or butter buds, or use some salt.. heck no, lets treat this meal like its a challenge. Part of me wants a military approach to eating, i beg of you, just tell me. The other part of me, is convinced it can be done better, but I need order, and I always, almost always need to buy something to do it. Do I really need to buy a BowFlex, an AbGrinder, a CorEvolution or a Massage chair? Probably not.. but it could be handy.
3. outlet
I'm 50/50 on this stance. Part of me sees outlets as factors of change and places to go to do my work. The gym, when it was really used, did pretty good, it was good place to go, it was like a beacon in the storm, but the trainers are really the beacons not so much the what was inside the building. I do like machines to assist me, that is nice, but I also want to know how to stay fit with nothing but my own body weight, thats empowering. Other outlets like a class, a place to take a class are also very interesting to me. A class takes me to a new world, a new thing to experience and discover, a new place to learn, thats a mental and phsyical reward. The other half of me argues that outlets are excuses, they are gimmicks, they are barriers to real change. That part of me says accept the headache pain, avoid drugs, go natrual, dip yourself in subfreezing tempertures.
4. partner
When I had a trainer at McConnell Heart Health Center it was expense but nice. Though after awhile I kinda felt like I was visiting more vs working. Sure I still worked out, but I was never really pushed, not like how Bob on the biggest loser pushes. Course this is just one experience I had with one trainer and if she was expensive, odds are (there it is again) someone like Bob would be ten times that much. Even still I feel like I need a poke.
5. cost of wellness
America is not designed for wellness. There's so much going against you. Sometimes I dream about a fast food system that focused on feeling good vs feeling fat. I wish for seeing the whole thing, DIFFERENT, not sold to me, given to me. I wish for a more enabled world to make me better, not fatter. Dreamy eh? It sure is. Still the cost of eating right, doing right, sucks ass. Its just not cheap, and if it is cheap, someone frickin tell me.
6. stability
Gotta have stability to make it through. Stability to me is alot of things. Its trust in yourself, its room to breathe, its coming up for air, leaving room for doubt, taking a moment to think. Its also about having others comfort you, its ok to get help ya know. Seek it, get it, save it, love it.
Welp.. ok I think i'm done with this post. I ate my 2 hard boiled eggs and 2 carrot lunch. Next up, a report to do, then... ponder my amazon purchases, then catch up on some blogs and edit a video.
BBL... dan
Tags: biggestloser, amazon, fitness, wellness, goodness, research
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