crowbar logic
Communication is an interesting concept. Ideally it should work, I say hello, you hear me and you say goodbye. In the workplace I find that misconception runs rampant. Those simple hellos get tagged with fear, and aggression and position and statement, and focus, and attention look at me dick. And those goodbyes come with I told you so, oh so there, and as if, and whatever and oh ya well take that and that!
Management steps in and either makes the problem worse or in some cases irons it all out. I suggest odd concepts when these meetings occur. I think people should be empowered to get whatever is bothering them off their chest. The problem with tags in these communcations of hello and goodbye is that they are like tags to recall feelings, the emotional aspect isnt shared with the party. They get the hello in a tone and we all have to sit around and think about what tone that was or what was he or she really saying.
Tagged communication. Its like I wanted to say hello, and I did but it came with this bagage that I wont release cause i'm so tied to the emotional comforting twisting concept of it.
What is it about discomfort that clings to us, what do we fear about releasing it. If I was manager I would request that people tell me off when they feel they need to. Please dont say hello, say "fuck you dan I hated that presentation.." thats what I want you to say. Cause now that youve said it, we can move on.
Fear grows in small companies, outwardly chatty people and well more so seriously opinionated folks just have a habit of issuing it as they clash their ideals with others. Like here's yer fear at the door, come on in. The not so chatty folks build this up and then explode causing management to take notice and act, where as chatty folks well they are just always in yer face.
So does management want everyone just to always be in your face? I think that's a good thing. BUT understand what to do with it. Say yer piece but move on. Recognize the agony of a person but move past it.
Its when management or a company as a whole decides to wallow in the infinite insanity of a issue that drives me crazy. And I hate it when I see management do that. Listen, nod, accept, and lets move forward!
Change is always good. I find that its often a constant war though between the not so chatty kids and the chatty gang. Its those that have opinions hear me roar vs the ones that have just as many ideas but feel they cant accurately communicate them. I put myself in that not so chatty group myself, despite this blog which serves as my sanity sounding board really. Basically i'm talking to myself here, and its like therapy to spill all this out, not caring about proper x or proper y and of course not giving a crap about spelling. A stream of thoughts could care less about clarity as far as spelling goes, the minute you turn to correct it, you lost the stream of it. Now look at what youve done, you've killed the magic by insisting to correct it for the masses.
However back to the chatty issue, so someone explodes big deal, happens all the time really. But I wish i could get people to explode less often. I get pressure from people that see me as x and not y, or want me to be z because they see that in me. And its never just a pure observation, theres always a catch, if you could be z, well.. life would be grand, your sense of purpose would be better. As if that person has the right to tell me that. The nerve. Or they say if only you were more b, well thats interesting Sally, i'll consider it, and ya know you'd look better if you had like a 3rd breast like that chick from Total Recall, remember? Sure I want to say that, yet I can't really, though.. i consider it for a split second.. what would that look like.
Maybe we shouldnt be asking people to be x or y, yet thats what career development is all about in some ways. Perhaps what I need is mere refinement of what I want, what I want, not what others want. Natural abilites pay off far more than contrived, pressured unrealistic landscapes of this is who you are via these people. Its like trying manifest magic out people via peer pressure. And it upsets me that people dont get that. They dont get the concept of talent. Talent is in all of us, we all have talent, we all have natural ability at something. Shouldnt it be managements role to seek out the talent in the team and cultivate it, draw it out?
I have too many interests and too many talents perhaps. Am I sales, am I biz dev, am I video editing guy, what about mister IT, or mister project development, or mister rig builder, idea guy, something man, I do work thats what I do. Got a project, odds are I can do something on it. Question is what do I want to do? And thats hard for me to answer. I see the value in doing alot though, sure I get the jack of all trades line alot but my mind is so scattered with ideas and its constantly changing thats not gonna stop anytime soon, so why fight it, why label it as some kind of disorder. I'm tried of being viewed as a mistake. I my lack of focus is somehow a bad thing. While they focus one thing and beat it into the ground, I can do many things. My focus is my ability to defocus and leap from tree to tree soaking it all up as I go. I see the big picture, the big reality the nose grinding folks cannot. Their one way is just one of many ways in my book.
Like yourself Dan, like who you are, chatty or not, accept it, assume it. Be the Dan. Well end of day 6:42, I think I'll retire for the evening and finish this edit in the morning.