Floozy Speak!

Dave has the incredible ability to pick bad movies. The other day we caught Tomb Radier Cradle of Life on the big screen and woah.. wtf happened there?!? Bad, bad.. bad acting, bad effects... bad idea... tomb raider just doesnt work for me any more, pah so bad, so bad, so bad of a pick there Dave!

Then at the dollar theater this week we catch League of Extrodinary Gentlemen, which should be renamed League of Extrodinary Plot Failures, Bad Acting, What happened to Bruce at the bar and everything else that went wrong. LXG is a horrible movie. The only redeeming factor is not Mr Connery, but the lone two faced doctor, the good doctor Jekyle and Mr. Hyde. That was the only thing that kept me watching.

Mr. Quartermain left a dozen good friends back at the bar, Bruce included only to be blown to bits! The phantom man is M we knew it already, you played it out to us in M's introduction, I mean come on!! An arms race?! Sells weapons?? Come on, theres more to all of that, why is it that the league is so stupid?!

And whats with the sword of ocean being a foot wide and 984 feet tall? And how's that little explorer pod drive er work anyways, doesnt it just lean to one side? And how is it that Dorian the man that cant die, at his place, at his introduction all the baddiest just happen to show up, ummm do we smell a rat? not only that, but how is it that he can perfectly drive the explorer pod anyways?

And how is it that the invisible man gets burned over 90% of his body and yet in the next scene, hes fine!? Oh and where do the bullets go after Mr. Immortal gets shot with them? Do they just sit inside him? Least in Underworld the Like'end pushed them out of thier bodies forcefully. And whats up with the so fast action cutting you cant actually tell whats going on? Nemo was opening a can of woop ass but no we'll only have him on the screen for .45 secs at a time, just enough for you to barely make out the kick and then we'll cut back to the vampire that can walk in daylight.

Or back to Quatermain who can shoot really really really well but first let me tell you a sad story cause every hero has one, and why is he boss when his power is simply africa wont let him die cause he pissed on a voodooo camp ground?

And how is it that when all bad guys, all of them in dumb movies like this they get a sample of all the stuff they need to rule the world, and they dont even consider the aspect of "hey someone may come to our cool pallace of greatness and take us out in the next 12mins, so here, fedex a copy of the goods to by brother lammy in detriot..." no they never consider that!

Lame upon lame upon lame upon lame, never trusting the audience, never hinting at a possible notion that the story sucked or had some many holes, geeze.. blow $$$$$$$$$ on effects but never tell the people what the fuck was going on or why, and howd the car get in there.

And how is it when the car is first introduced i looks like maybe 3 people could get in it but all six of them seem to somehow fit.. thats a hilarious shot. Maybe Mini made it I dunno even then only 2 people inside should fit. Gah so bad, so bad of a movie... SO BAD!!!

Thanks Dave for yet again, another piss poor movie selection. Next time I pick ok.. geeze.