"Can you hear me?"
U.S. journalists are fighting their first major battle of the Second Gulf War… audio problems. "Live television," as they call it. Really this is the way I prefer it. All the mindless talking to fill time is excruciating at best. But the audio problem gives a small yet long waited for break in the talking. Not to mention the great television this provides. Talking Heads… nothing. Just a confused anchor staring at their "expert" like some dog that's just been shown a card trick. The anchor freezes, eyes dart, a drip of sweat tries to break the surface of makeup. "Live television, uhu...," swallows. They actually let these anchors talk to people on the front lines. Real men don't wear foundation.
Instead of all these annalists talking out of their asses all the time how about more cool-looking computer animations, but no, these are a bust. How long did the networks have to get these animations ready? Three months? Six months? Almost a year? I really thought the networks were going to deliver on that. The animations haven't quite developed at the same pace as the guidance system to the Tomahawk.
I'm also starting to think Dan Rather is paid by the word. He was waiting for this story. He was about ready to retire after all the talking 9/11, but he knew Bush couldn't help himself. He knew there was a bigger story brewing. Bush is too nuts.
It didn't take long.
Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Not about oil. Talk, talk, blah, blah, talk.
I know something else is happening out there. What the hell has North Korea done this week? I doubt nothing. They scare me more then anything Saddam has done lately. Besides aren't they on the Axis of Evil list next to French Fries and partial-birth abortion.
Too bad Elizabeth Smart was found the week before the War, we might not have had to hear about her again.
Oh, oh wait… they fixed the audio problem, gotta go.